Fuck.

I'm just fucking sick of this already. Standardized patients' report comes in to the effect of:

-"Student was purely clinical, not personal. Came off as cold and uncaring, only smiled once at end of encounter."
-"Try to build rapport...I didn't feel like I wanted to share any extra information with you."

And my clinical evaluations always fault me for interpersonal skills (or lack thereof). Every time it's that I'm too quiet, or don't develop a good team dynamic. Well fuck. I won't sit here and say that they are wrong...they are right. But I don't know what to do with myself. I honestly believe I just have some traits/elements of Asperger's or something, because I am not able to relate to others fluently and naturally like most people.

So it is. I do what I can and get through the rotations. I'll get my passing score and move on. I'll take my shitty eval time and time again. I'll try to improve and get burned every time. "Student lacks initiative, student is quiet." I've had a number of actual patients complement me on my "bedside manner" for what its worth. I don't know what the truth is, I just think it really sucks. Just fuck it, you stop caring after awhile.